“I’m bisexual. There – if I really need to say it out loud and put another label on me! I know that I have always liked guys and girls. Of course, not at the same time. But I can really fall in love, badly! “says M. while we are watching people walking by the city cafe, where we had coffee.
Even since the Stonewall riots when the LGBT and queer people stood up against oppression and raised revolution for their rights, the letter B in the whole LGBT movement remains at least present. Gay and lesbian community has strengthened over the time – each in its own direction, transgender community is rising up, advocating for their needs and paves its way to freedom, but bisexual people are – neither there nor here.
Bisexual community exists and is still quite invisible. Some will say that bisexuals have the easiest way through because they can easily lean to a mainstream flows. The society itself, but also the LGBT community likes to simplify things and to immediately classify people as “either you’re gay or not.” For bisexual people there are always two main questions that they are being asked – perhaps you’re hiding because you’re actually gay or it’s just a phase, and that’s OK.
“I wish you would stop telling me that this is just a phase, because I am actually bisexual all my life. Of course I did not know that it has a name – bisexuality “, M. continues the story.
Bisexuals are not indecisive nor just experimenting. Even if they do so, it feels as they are less important. And no, bisexuals are no more or less promiscuous than any other group of people. These are just some of the typical prejudices.
“If I like both sexes that does not mean that I am in polyamorous relationships, or that I was unable to develop a quality relationship. I had great relationships with men, but also great relationships with women. Now I am with the girl. For a couple of years, already. I do not think about identity. After all, all that is part of our sexuality. “- D.S. said and hurried off to meet with her girl.
To find like-minded people and bisexual people around you is a relief for many, in a diverse LGBT community. D. says: “I feel it kind of sucks because I feel less worthy when I say to my gay friends that I really like some girl, like I was less gay. I mean, I like girls and men. It seems that for our (LGBT) community I am less gay or not a real gay, whatever that means. ”
“If I go out with my girl, everyone immediately thinks I’m a lesbian, when they find out that I was with men, the first sentence is ‘Ah, so you’re not the true lesbian! Always the same story. ”
Never good enough for either straight or for the LGBT community.
Bisexuality is mental and sexual attraction to both sexes. And the term bisexuality, just as hetero and homosexuality, was coined in the 19th century. Sexual orientation is part of sexual continuum. Alfred Kinsey did a huge research on that issue and his most important works are based on studying human sexuality in its continuum.
In ancient times, Greeks and Romans, when there were no labels and identities, as we know of today, men have had sex and love relationships with men, just as the women had their mistresses. There was no questioning of identities and belonging to a community as the way we see sexuality today.
Talking of bisexuality, there are different reactions to men and women who come out as bisexuals. Some may think that it is easier for women but at the same time they are perceived as sexy and easy for fun and threesome. For men it is a little more difficult – the first question in questioning one’s sexuality is – “so, this means you are actually hiding the fact you’re gay?!” For the same reason most bisexual men are not coming out at all.
In some countries, particularly because they do not feel they belong neither to gay nor straight community, bisexuals remain invisible in a common struggle, and thus establish their own communities and their movements. Bisexual Visibility Day is celebrated on September 23. That day bisexual people celebrate their bisexuality, its history, community and culture. In fact the whole week from 20th to 27th September is dedicated to raising the visibility of bisexual people. They are also a part of us.
While homosexuality is becoming mainstream, for bisexuality it is still believed to be a fun phase of life, until we choose one of the sides – gay or hetero. Like it is something to choose.
Let’s forget the fractions within the LGBT community and celebrate ourselves. Let’s enjoy our differences. Bisexuality is just another way of expressing love.
Happy Bisexual Visibility Week!